he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
