Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
