How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
