with your own penis?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
