Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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