Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
