he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
