Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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