IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
