After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
