Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We need a shit load of segways right now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
