you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
