After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
