break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
