This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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