I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
