so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
