Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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