I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I love having hate sex.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
