Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
