This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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