She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
