how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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