I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
