That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
