im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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