Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
