You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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