that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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