My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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