Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
