so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
