What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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