Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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