im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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