this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
