I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
