If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
