Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
