...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We need a shit load of segways right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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