smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
