That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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