i just wanna soil my oats bro
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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