In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
