just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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