You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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