I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
