It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My penis needs a shock collar
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
