bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
