I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
