He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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