the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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