i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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