you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
