When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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