I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
