Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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