He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
