sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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