New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
