I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
